Taking a hiatus from my Grandpa's 5 Questions series as he composes a response to his Question #3, I asked my friend Lenora Arrington to participate for an entry of 5 Questions. We got to know Lenora at New Life Church in Maryland when we moved there in 1995. She worked as a Psychologist at the time, in the same practice as my childhood friend Amy Bonifay Russell. Today she's a Mom who also has a scrapbooking gig with Creative Memories and works part time in an administrative role at their church. She grew up in Illinois in a farming family and ended up marrying a dairy farmer (think: "MOOOOOOOO") in Maryland about 11-12 years ago. They have two kids together, and Richard has two sons from a previous marriage as well (more on all of them in Question 4 below). Lenora is definitely one of my favorite people on the planet. There's not a phony bone in her body - she is maybe the most honest and sincere person I know. She is variously sweet as honey or strong as steel, but always with a gentle spirit. She has a great sense of humor (which is apparent because she laughs at my jokes) and laughs a hearty laugh, but she also cries without shame. She's got all of her priorities straight and embraces life. As far as I'm concerned, if you don't like Lenora, the problem isn't with her, it's with you.
Question 1
DC: What is your most influential childhood memory & why?
Lenora: My cousins. I have about 40 first cousins. When I was growing up we were more like siblings and spent tons of time together. We lived near each other, went to the same school and the same church (which wasn't so great as a teenager since I was related to all the cute boys). We enjoyed each other. Spending time with my cousins was always a positive, fun experience. We all got along really well. We had adventures and got into trouble together. One of my greatest sadnesses about living in MD instead of IL is that my kids will not know all their Roat cousins and have that experience like I did. At
Christmas we would put on ridiculous shows and skits for all the aunts and uncles. Having a "cousins party" was the highlight of our holidays. My grandmother had 11 children, most of whom stayed in the same hometown. Every Sunday all the children and grandchildren would come to Grandma's house for "coffee" at 3:00pm. We would build forts out of hay in the barn, take walks in the woods, sit on the front porch and tell stories, play games, eat dilly bars (anyone know what those are???) and circus peanuts (don't ask me why!) and drink chocolate milk with extra sugar added (no dentists in our family). There was lots of teasing, but in a nice way. We just have so many great memories of times together. I actually don't remember much of my childhood except for times with my cousins, so that is what I think of when I think of my childhood--it's the experience that shapes my feelings about my past.
Question 2
DC: What is the most important aspect of your experience with New Life Church?
Lenora: Being part of NLC was one of the most powerful times of spiritual growth in my entire life. I was accepted there by people who knew my whole story--the good parts AND the really bad parts. Prior to that time, I'm not sure if anyone knew my whole story. Looking back, I realize that I felt the most connected with myself spiritually then. I felt truly loved and affirmed so that people could speak truth into my life about things that were difficult to hear. It took me about 5-6 years to not grieve NLC every time I went to church somewhere else. For me, it was an experience of spiritual community that
seemed really like what God had in mind when He designed us for community. The day of my baptism was one of the best days of my life and I got to experience that with people I loved so much and by whom I felt so loved and nurtured spiritually. Being part of NLC gave me a foundation and a goal--a foundation in faith and a goal for which to strive in my spiritual community now.
Question 3
DC: Besides your family, who has had the greatest impact on your life and how? (excluding me, of course)
Lenora: Well, excluding you....let's see....probably my therapists. At different points in my life I've sought out a therapist to talk things over with. Being heard in that way is very transformational. Each one has been different and has helped me address a different aspect of my life.
This is actually a very good question. It's making me think (oh so painful). Before therapy there were some folks who had a very negative impact on my life and influenced me in terms of fear. But when I think about those with the greatest impact, I lean more toward those who led me toward God in some way. Or toward truth. Certain authors (John Eldredge for one), my mentor in college, a friend from graduate school. Who is it that I have allowed IN enough to have an impact on my life? Oh, wait....it really has to be my children. (Apparently this is an answer in process.) My life has been changed more through my relationships with my children than with any other person, except you said besides my family... so now I'm back to my therapists. Ok. There you go.
Question 4
DC: What is your favorite thing about Richard & each of your kids?
Lenora: Oh... fun question! Ok, one of my favorite things about my husband is that he can fix anything! He's a "man's man" (no wussy, girly hubby for me!) and he works hard at everything he does. He's also very cheesy. And he goes along with what I want to do on dates for the most part (we have date night every Thursday and we almost always get to go where I would like, even when I TRY to get him to choose!)
I love how Daniel is so tender with Lucas and takes so much time with Lucas and Anna, talking to them on the phone, playing games with them, taking what they say and think seriously. He encourages their imaginations. I'm really proud of him, although I can't take much credit for what a great person he's becoming.
J.W. makes me laugh. We have more of a fun relationship. We IM a lot more than we talk. He's also really good about spending time with Lucas and Anna. Last summer we went to Hershey Park and he helped Lucas overcome his fears about roller coasters. He spent the whole day with us doing little kid stuff and still had a great time. I don't know many 21 year olds who would spend their day with a 9 and 6 year old and think it was a great day!
One of my favorite things about Lucas is his generosity. He is the most generous, thoughtful child. He will listen to people's hearts and desires and then spontaneously give gifts that really respond to what he's heard. He's also incredibly funny and smart. I love that he still wants me to put him to bed at night and that's when we have our heart to heart talks.
Anna......Princess Fickle Pickle....Demandra.....Anna Banana Olivia Arrington....I love her smile. When she smiles with her eyes it lights up my world. I love how we have "secret moments" between us where we both understand something and laugh about it without anyone else realizing what's going on. I love how she loves animals and is so sweet with them. That girl is strong-willed. I thought Lucas was strong-willed until Anna came along. Whew. Oh..one of my favorite things about her is how she makes me pictures or drawings or some sort of art nearly every day. It's her gift to me. She sees how other people feel and she gives her art to love, encourage or cheer. I also love how she believes in herself...after 6 weeks of gymnastics classes, she declared herself a gymnast. So now she eats like a gymnast, dresses like a gymnast, wears her hair like a gymnast. May she always have such confidence in herself!
Question 5
DC: What do you think others perceive to be the coolest thing about you, and what do YOU think is the coolest thing about you?
Lenora: Oh great. Now you're going to ask me to say something nice about myself. You knew this would be a challenge for me, right?
Well, thinking of my closest friends, they might say that my tendency to accept them for whatever is going on and listen to them is pretty cool. I don't know... maybe you should ask them!
As for me, well, I guess I think it's pretty cool that I can laugh at myself. I say "embrace your weirdness!" Why fight it?
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