Grandma

February 17 is a profoundly sad date in our family, the anniversary of the death of my Grandma. On many days, but especially today, we recall many happy times and fun adventures together. Following is a piece I wrote to share at her memorial service. It says a lot, but could never say it all.

I am sure that there have been many terrific Grandson-Grandma relationships, but I can’t imagine any of them being as wonderfully unique as my relationship with my Grandma. So many fun experiences, so many life lessons that she taught without saying a word, so many games played and watched together, so much laughter shared.

Lauren & I will always cherish our adventures with Grandma & Grandpa & Susie when we were kids. They took us on memorable trips to the Grand Canyon, New England, New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and of course Disney World in Orlando. We would hop in the Suburban pulling the Wilderness trailer, and off we went, always stopping for ice cream around 3 in the afternoon. Grandma was the coolest because she would usually let me sit in the front seat with Grandpa and Lauren would be relegated to the back seat. (Ah, sweet justice!) The way Grandma would take care of us on those trips is just one of many examples of her magnanimous spirit.

Later in life, when my then-girlfriend Elisa decided to enroll at UT to study for her Masters, Grandma & Grandpa allowed me to stay with them at Luttrell House before we got married. It is impossible to express how welcome I felt there, not to mention how welcome they made Elisa feel, as well, treating her like their own granddaughter practically from Day One. Grandma’s hostess talents and inherent hospitable nature were always fully evident. She would always make sure there was ice cream in the freezer and 2% milk in the fridge, just for me. She also had a habit that Elisa & I laugh about to this day: When she would cook dinner, she would practically force-feed Grandpa and me with any food that remained on the table towards the end of the meal. I guess she didn’t like keeping leftovers. But I will forever recall those months at Luttrell House with enormous fondness, for it allowed a grown man the rare opportunity to spend time with his incredibly generous grandparents and bask in their love for me and for each other.

Another thing that I am so grateful for is that she passed down to me her love of sport. Please understand that I love my father dearly, but if I had to rely on the more traditional father/son sports relationship, my most glorious athletic achievement would have been carrying more than five books from the library or moving Rook to d6 for a checkmate. No, in my case, my Grandma was the one that pitched me a ball in the front yard in Winfield as a toddler. My Grandma was at the game when I hit my one and only lifetime homerun in Little League. My Grandma was the only member of my family with whom I could carry on an extended conversation about the pick & roll or the designated hitter. My Grandma & I watched and attended UT Vols football games together. A dozen years ago my Grandma enjoyed her Bulls’ dominance over my Knicks, but I was allowed to enjoy my Yankees’ defeat over her Braves in the ’96 World Series. Some may say these experiences are somewhat superficial, but I can testify that they have helped mold me into the man that I am. I have never taken them for granted.

Elisa & I so regret not being able to join the family for their gathering this past Christmas or for this time to memorialize her. It also saddens us that Grandma didn’t get to meet her second great-granddaughter. But Grandma’s spirit lives on in us and in all those who knew her, so it is inevitable that we will see glimpses of her in our daughter one day.

I will forever be grateful for her influence on my life in sport, in hospitality, in kindness, and in love. No one’s reward has been more sure than Grandma’s, and it is heartening to know that she has now received her reward and is no longer limited by her physical body. I am quite sure she is enjoying shooting some baskets once again.